I Love Christmas Movies

I have to get this post out before the end of the “Holiday Season,” and true to my procrastinating tendencies I left it to the very last minute. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is posted this at 11:59 tonight—New Year’s Eve.

            Anyway, the topic for this blog came to me as I was watching a Christmas movie marathon on the Hallmark Channel this November. Yes, November. It seems like every year the Holiday Season starts earlier and earlier. This year the networks (ABC Family, the Lifetime Movie Network, and Hallmark Channel) were airing Christmas movies before it was even Thanksgiving. Hallmark Chanel is especially enthusiastic and has been showing Christmas movies 24/7 for the last two months or so.

            I occurred to me that my great love of Christmas movies wasn’t all that normal when a friend came over and we watched one together. We had fun but she still didn’t really see the appeal or understand why I can watch marathons of these holiday movies. To that end, I tried to define exactly what it is I love about Christmas movies.

           

1) Christmas movies are predictable.

The plotline usually follows one of these outlines:

A) Character hates Christmas/ is a “Scrooge.”

This one is pretty self-explanatory, but a main character will often hate Christmas for some inexplicable reason that becomes clear as the movie progresses. Most storylines involve a tragic event such as the death of a parent which makes Christmas an unhappy time. Now being a Christmas movie, no character can be allowed to hate Christmas for very long. The problem is usually solved by the romantic second lead who loves Christmas and teaches the main character to do so as well.      

           

B) Santa or Santa’s heir needs to find a Mrs. Claus before Christmas

This outline makes some of the best and worst Christmas movies. When done well, it can be a charming story progression with Santa’s son (or daughter!) going out into the Great Big World to find themselves and a partner. Santa’s heir always also finds him/herself a cause while they are out and about such as saving a local toy store from going out of business. In these movies, Santa’s heir always has a deadline which never fails to amuse me, like a month to find True Love: a person who’s willing to a) believe that they are Santa’s heir b) commit to marrying them after knowing them for a matter of weeks and c) move to the North Pole where they’ll only have elves for company—a plot point that is conveniently overlooked.

C) A small town (that loves Christmas, of course) is being threatened by a Big Bad Christmas-Hating Developer

This one is self explanatory as well. The Big Bad Company’s agent is usually a man, although I’ve seen a woman in this role. He or she comes in all prepared to build a mall or tear down some landmark or building that is very important to the citizens of some small town. He or she is met with resistance by the town and winds up becoming romantically entangled with the leader of the resistance. To make a long story short, the Big Bad Company’s plans are foiled through a combination of wit and Christmas magic and everyone lives happily ever after.

D) A parent needs help learning (or remembering) the meaning/joy of Christmas so as to build better relationships with their children (usually two—a girl and a boy)

In the case of a father, he’s usually a widower who hates Christmas because it reminds him of his late wife and her special love of Christmas. If it’s the mother, she’s often a high powered executive who has lost sight of “what’s important.” The catalyst for change can come in the form of a new suitor, a nanny, or an angel—yes, an actual angel—who through example and a preachy script prompt the Christmas hating (or Christmas indifferent) parent to turn over a new leaf and reconnect with his/her children—everybody say ‘Awwwwwww.’

E) The replacement Santa

This trope is seen most often in Disney-type Christmas movies where Santa unexpectedly (and sometimes unintentionally) hands the reigns—pun intended—over to someone new. New Santa is usually a regular guy who probably no longer believes in Santa but is forced to accept his existence as he realizes that he himself is Santa. In a series of rough starts and misadventures, the new Santa learns to love his new job and most importantly—regains his love of Christmas!

2) The many forms of a “Christmas Carroll”

            I think Charles Dickens would be surprised how many times his book has been re-adapted to make a quickie Christmas movie involving a shallow executive who treats his/her employees terribly and has no time for anything or anyone not related to making money. If he were alive I’m not sure if he would be amused or really annoyed about these (mostly shoddy) adaptations, but one thing is certain: he’d be making a ton of money in royalties.

3) The incredible power of Christmas magic.

“Christmas magic” is a perfect example of duex ex machina if ever there was one with “Christmas magic” or the “spirit of Christmas” being the contrivance that solves most of the problems that arise in these stock storylines. Not that I object to this in any way, you understand—I sit and watch safe in the knowledge that the movie must end happily, that all conflicts and romantic complications will be resolved and tied neatly with a nice red bow because it’s Christmas.

4) Mockability.

Although I own that Christmas movies can be quite good—even poignant—at times, these times are few and far between. Most of the time they provide endless entertainment because they aren’t very good—the cheesier, the better I always say!