Living life by default

Lately what I fear most is living in the default mode. You know that default setting that you use in your software or on your mobile phone-the one that doesn’t take any effort to set up and kinda serves your needs? Yeah, that mode-the one you get by clicking the ‘Next’ button till you’re finished. Maybe you hit the ‘I agree’ button and sign away your life without knowing it. Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter much when it’s just a phone or an app but living that way is kinda depressing. I know that because it’s what I’ve been doing most of my life.

It’s the easy way out-the way of life where you do what you need to do, what you have to do and then fill in the rest of the space with buzz. It’s the unexceptional, predictable, operate-heavy-machinery-with-your-eyes-closed way of doing things.

There are so many things I want to do, things I want to create, people I want to get to know better, causes I’d like to get involved with-there’s a whole list of them but somehow they always get pushed to the back burner. I say “I don’t have the time” or “This isn’t really something I can really concentrate on at this point” and while there is some truth to that, there’re plenty of times when I have an hour here or there that I end up filling up with the junkfood activity of life instead of doing something I really want to do.

Don’t get me wrong-I’m not talking about doing exciting, crazy things. I’ve never been the adventurous type, nor do I have much interest in that sort of thing (too messy) but I want my life to be full of the little wonderful things that can only get there when you make the room to put them there.  Everyone has their own things-I want to begin to write and draw again. Maybe you want to learn to play the cello or learn how to make creampuffs. Who knows?

Years later, I don’t want to be looking back and have regrets for all those moments when I just let the time I had slip away. Have all these unfulfilled dreams that tempt me into buying a red sports car I don’t really need and dying my hair blonde to feel young again. Living by default just leaves with you an empty unsatisfied feeling that you’re wasting your life away.

That’s a little bit of the reason why I’m really looking forward to trying out this blog with my wonderful friends. I really love writing but sometimes it’s hard to find a place where you have something to say and when there’s nothing to say, lately I find that I remain silent.

So here’s to silence being broken, to stepping outside of the default, to making time for writing!