I Love Christmas Movies

I have to get this post out before the end of the “Holiday Season,” and true to my procrastinating tendencies I left it to the very last minute. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is posted this at 11:59 tonight—New Year’s Eve.

            Anyway, the topic for this blog came to me as I was watching a Christmas movie marathon on the Hallmark Channel this November. Yes, November. It seems like every year the Holiday Season starts earlier and earlier. This year the networks (ABC Family, the Lifetime Movie Network, and Hallmark Channel) were airing Christmas movies before it was even Thanksgiving. Hallmark Chanel is especially enthusiastic and has been showing Christmas movies 24/7 for the last two months or so.

            I occurred to me that my great love of Christmas movies wasn’t all that normal when a friend came over and we watched one together. We had fun but she still didn’t really see the appeal or understand why I can watch marathons of these holiday movies. To that end, I tried to define exactly what it is I love about Christmas movies.

           

1) Christmas movies are predictable.

The plotline usually follows one of these outlines:

A) Character hates Christmas/ is a “Scrooge.”

This one is pretty self-explanatory, but a main character will often hate Christmas for some inexplicable reason that becomes clear as the movie progresses. Most storylines involve a tragic event such as the death of a parent which makes Christmas an unhappy time. Now being a Christmas movie, no character can be allowed to hate Christmas for very long. The problem is usually solved by the romantic second lead who loves Christmas and teaches the main character to do so as well.      

           

B) Santa or Santa’s heir needs to find a Mrs. Claus before Christmas

This outline makes some of the best and worst Christmas movies. When done well, it can be a charming story progression with Santa’s son (or daughter!) going out into the Great Big World to find themselves and a partner. Santa’s heir always also finds him/herself a cause while they are out and about such as saving a local toy store from going out of business. In these movies, Santa’s heir always has a deadline which never fails to amuse me, like a month to find True Love: a person who’s willing to a) believe that they are Santa’s heir b) commit to marrying them after knowing them for a matter of weeks and c) move to the North Pole where they’ll only have elves for company—a plot point that is conveniently overlooked.

C) A small town (that loves Christmas, of course) is being threatened by a Big Bad Christmas-Hating Developer

This one is self explanatory as well. The Big Bad Company’s agent is usually a man, although I’ve seen a woman in this role. He or she comes in all prepared to build a mall or tear down some landmark or building that is very important to the citizens of some small town. He or she is met with resistance by the town and winds up becoming romantically entangled with the leader of the resistance. To make a long story short, the Big Bad Company’s plans are foiled through a combination of wit and Christmas magic and everyone lives happily ever after.

D) A parent needs help learning (or remembering) the meaning/joy of Christmas so as to build better relationships with their children (usually two—a girl and a boy)

In the case of a father, he’s usually a widower who hates Christmas because it reminds him of his late wife and her special love of Christmas. If it’s the mother, she’s often a high powered executive who has lost sight of “what’s important.” The catalyst for change can come in the form of a new suitor, a nanny, or an angel—yes, an actual angel—who through example and a preachy script prompt the Christmas hating (or Christmas indifferent) parent to turn over a new leaf and reconnect with his/her children—everybody say ‘Awwwwwww.’

E) The replacement Santa

This trope is seen most often in Disney-type Christmas movies where Santa unexpectedly (and sometimes unintentionally) hands the reigns—pun intended—over to someone new. New Santa is usually a regular guy who probably no longer believes in Santa but is forced to accept his existence as he realizes that he himself is Santa. In a series of rough starts and misadventures, the new Santa learns to love his new job and most importantly—regains his love of Christmas!

2) The many forms of a “Christmas Carroll”

            I think Charles Dickens would be surprised how many times his book has been re-adapted to make a quickie Christmas movie involving a shallow executive who treats his/her employees terribly and has no time for anything or anyone not related to making money. If he were alive I’m not sure if he would be amused or really annoyed about these (mostly shoddy) adaptations, but one thing is certain: he’d be making a ton of money in royalties.

3) The incredible power of Christmas magic.

“Christmas magic” is a perfect example of duex ex machina if ever there was one with “Christmas magic” or the “spirit of Christmas” being the contrivance that solves most of the problems that arise in these stock storylines. Not that I object to this in any way, you understand—I sit and watch safe in the knowledge that the movie must end happily, that all conflicts and romantic complications will be resolved and tied neatly with a nice red bow because it’s Christmas.

4) Mockability.

Although I own that Christmas movies can be quite good—even poignant—at times, these times are few and far between. Most of the time they provide endless entertainment because they aren’t very good—the cheesier, the better I always say!

A bit of book related nostalgia

For as long as I can remember, our library shelf has chronicled our goals, dreams, and aspirations. The books are piled up on the radiator and sometimes spread out to the stairs nearby. It’s not even that we necessarily read all these books; it’s more the thought that counts.

There will be books on any of our given interests-my mom will always have out a couple of cookbooks or history tomes and my brother his science books. My brother and me will usually have out a couple of flashy looking sci-fi or fantasy books. But if someone in the house is getting a job, there will be a stack of resume or networking books. Learning about something at school? There will be a couple of books about whatever topic that is. If something medical is going on in the family, you can bet there will be some books out on it, including a couple of dodgy looking alternative medicine ones. There will be anything from knitting to food science to books about writing-and of course a bit of fiction.

It used to drive me crazy. When I was a kid, I couldn’t understand why my mom would get out all these books that she wasn’t ever going to read-cause even though the books were taken out with good intentions, there wouldn’t ever be enough time to read all of them. Then when I started college, I would take out huge mounds of computer books-languages, building apps and websites, operating systems-maybe I read about a tenth of them. But there was just something about having the stack in my room-maybe it was the potential? Or the comfort of books being around? On a free afternoon, I’d sit with a stack and try to skim through a couple but there definitely wasn’t enough time to ever really read them through.

So now I’ve got my own pile that mimics my family’s radiator but to the tune of my own interests. Sometimes cookbooks or craftbooks, organization, programming, and of course fiction books sit piled next to my bed. Some of them I’ll read, maybe some of them I’ll skim, and some will get returned to the library never read but taken out again to sit among the pile. I guess it’s kind of the luxury of being surrounded by books? To be honest I’m not really sure, but I have a feeling that one day my own kids are going to be looking at a shelf or book basket wondering why all these books are in the house when only a quarter of them get read.

How to be a Domestic Goddess

I don’t know if you ladies have heard of Nigella Lawson, but lately I’ve been watching a lot of clips of her shows and interviews on youtube. In fact, I think I spend more than double the amount of time I spend actually cooking glued to youtube’s many amazing cooking/baking/decorating channels (from things like clips of Gordon Ramsay to user produced channels like SortedFood, HilahCooking, WoodlandBakery and MyCupcakeAddiction). My husband likes to say that when I’m procrastinating I'm not actually wasting my time at all, in fact, it’s time well spent learning about food and cooking.

Anyhow, back to Nigella. “How to be a Domestic Goddess” is actually the title of one of her cookbooks. Often people the title seriously and take offence, as if Nigella actually claims to hold all the answers to being a “Domestic Goddess” but Nigella is first to emphasize that the title is meant ironically. Yes, Nigella does cook, but she is far from a Domestic Goddess. She may be a goddess in the food industry in terms of the delicious food she is able to plate, but she's really an inspiration to home cooks who don't want to spend hours preparing food--her meals appear to have taken hours to prepare, but in fact have taken very little effort at all. It’s hard to describe in words, so I suggest you watch some videos of her, but she’s all about cutting corners in food prep, but making indulgent food and actually enjoying her dishes to the fullest. She’s eloquent, charming, passionate, beautiful and has revolutionized life for the home cook. 

Food is a central part of our lives and food preparation is something I'm constantly thinking about. I've always enjoyed cooking but, for a time (and still now to some extent) I was hesitant to invite many shabbos guests (especially not for both meals) because I always feel like I have to make lots and lots of food. If it were just us two, I'd just make a soup or a small cholent. When I have guests I always make  6 or 7 dishes and I often end up stressed out. Perhaps it also has something to do with starting to work on Fridays, and thus having to prioritize my time better, or perhaps having a second freezer (yay!!) helps remove a lot of the stress of food preparation. Either way, I've come to enjoy cooking even more than I did, even on the weeknights when it’s just us. I think I've also been able to enjoy the food more than I used to before Nigella inspired me. I make simple foods, and manage my time wisely. The stress of perfectionism in the kitchen is slowly dissipating.  While I'm far from a Domestic Goddess in the kitchen, I'm certainly getting there in the more satirical sense of the phrase as used by Nigella.  

Fractals and free will

This is something that’s been on my mind for quite a while and maybe this is too big a topic to tackle here but I’m going to try, if you guys will bear with me as I think this one through.

In my last semester of college, I somehow got into a discussion of religion with one of my classmates. We covered a wide gamut of topics but one of the things that particularly bothered him was the topic of freewill. To be honest I’m not even sure where his argument was going but one of the things he said was ‘How can we have free will? You can’t control your breathing’ and he made a couple of arguments in a similar vein. This kind of hung around my head all summer long, collecting a web of tangled thoughts.

I’m no theologian or expert in psychology. I don’t even have that much life experience but these are some of my thoughts. For me the concept of free will is both very empowering and frightening. Free will means that my decisions and actions have meaning-because of that I am accountable for those choices.

There are a lot of things that I do consciously and with awareness-it’s kind of obvious in those situations that some sort of decision making is going on there. But what about all those things I do unconsciously-whether it’s by force of habit or it's something like breathing?

I think we have the free will to have free will. I know that sounds kind of redundant but hear me out. While I can’t control my breathing and am doing it subconsciously, there are plenty of people that have that type of control. Whether they’re doing it for vocal training, or they’re pearl divers, or some Tibetan monk, they’ve taken the time and effort to train themselves to be conscious of their breathing and can now control it. When I was in middle school, I decided that being able to lift one eyebrow would be a really useful ability to have (I had great goals then). After about a month of standing in front of a mirror at random points and rearranging my eyebrows, I became aware of the muscles and now can look doubting or aloof and impress people at parties.

We decide what we care about and what we want to make decisions about.

I think free will is sort of like a fractal. Fractals are those really cool geometric shapes that are made of repeating patterns that grow smaller and smaller. 

At the beginning it's really easy to see what the initial shape is-that’s the decision to make a decision. But as you get further into life and make bigger and increasingly more complex decisions the original shape is nearly impossible to see.

The transformation from the original shape to the complex fractal can be so radical that it's almost frightening but it can also be incredibly beautiful.

Cultivating an Attitude of Excitement

Last week flew up to Cleveland for a good friend’s wedding. While I was there, I realized that I belong to a very small minority of people who actually enjoy flying. Whenever I mentioned my plans for flying back, the response was invariably a sympathetic look and often a comment about what a hassle it is to fly anywhere. I suppose I have always known that I enjoy the whole experience of flying more than the average person, but I hadn’t realized to what extent others allowed the inconveniences of airports, security, and crowded seats to overshadow the pure awesomeness of flying anywhere—be it an hour away or eighteen hours away.

Flying always gives me this great feeling of independence. I love walking through the airport and browsing through the overpriced little stores; I always buy myself a bar of chocolate and a new novel to occupy me as I wait to board. I hardly notice if the seats are slightly cramped as I look out the window and watch the world drop away. And every time the flight attendant announces that we have reached 10,000 feet, I am amazed all over again.

Not many people enjoy the whole experience of flying the way I do, and I wondered why I was the odd one out. When I looked at it on a larger scale, I realized that my attitude toward flying is just one example of a belief I try to live by: an excited attitude makes the world a lot more fun.

Let me give you another example. For the past couple of years, I have been a volunteer usher at a local theater where symphonies and Broadway musicals on tour come to perform. I am always a little shocked at how casually some patrons come dressed to see a show—jeans and a T-shirt is quite common—and how they can saunter into the theater ten, fifteen, even twenty minutes late, seemingly unconcerned. I can’t fathom the mindset of patrons who plan a night out, buy tickets to a show (often expensive), and then arrive so sloppily dressed and, even worse, late! If you can’t dress up for a night at the theater, when can you dress up? There aren’t many opportunities to wear a nice dress and show off your heels—why not take the time to inject a little pizzazz and excitement into your week?

Many of the ushers are not much better. As ushers we occasionally get to see some of the behind-the-scenes action and sometimes even meet performers. I always get a huge kick out of it whenever something cool like that happens, but then I’ll turn to another usher and see that they are completely unmoved. How it is possible to be behind-the-scenes at The Lion King, to see the inner workings of all the animal costumes and stand amongst the chorus as they sing, and not be grinning from ear to ear (and squealing inside) is beyond me. I mean, the ushers are volunteers—we are not being paid to be there and, in fact, we have to pay for our own parking. So you would think that the only reason to usher is because you are excited to see the show, right? Right? I just don’t understand.

The whole thing brings to mind the movie Gigi starring Leslie Caron and Louis Jourdan—a great movie if you haven’t yet seen it. Gaston (Louis Jourdan) is fabulously wealthy and yet everything is a bore and he is forever “filled with ennui.” Gigi (Leslie Caron), on the other hand, is excited by the smallest of things. Gigi breathes fresh life into Gaston’s world by taking delight in things and activities he had long before written off as “boring.”

I guess what I’m trying to say is that a whole world of wonderful little experiences can pass you by if you fail to acknowledge and be excited by their specialness. Eventually even the “big” exciting moments will be dulled because excitability and appreciation are qualities that have to be exercised. If you don’t practice an attitude of excitement on the little events and adventures, you may not be able to fully appreciate the big ones.

Present problems

Right now I'm working on figuring out what to get B for Chanukah. I've gotten him so many great gifts and I don't know how to top them. I got him a mini catapult, a remote control helicopter, watch-cufflinks, a Captain America Lego set, a Lego mug, a mustache mug, lots of cool screen-printed t-shirts, and probably other stuff that I can't think of at the moment. I need ideas for "the guy who has everything."

The truth is, we all have everything. If I were shopping for myself I wouldn't know what to get, either. (Though I do have a minor obsession with kitchen tools.)  I've looked through hundreds of gift ideas, and nothing is speaking to me. First World Problems--we have so many things that there's nothing more we could possibly have.

It happens that this week was one of the worst weeks of my life, but I don't really want to post the details on this public forum. However, I want to talk a bit about getting through hard times. Once I came to terms with the fact that life goes on, I was left with no choice but to go on, along with life. It feels impossibly hard, but as I make the actions to live like I used to, I'm coming to function as normal. This fairly wimpy post is an expression of that. Chanukah gifts are no big deal really,but the little things are part of what makes the world keep spinning.  While not directly related to Shana's post, taking the little steps to get over the big hurdles is hard, but certainly worthwhile.

Magical hats

Hats are magical. You've known that ever since you've seen some dude pulling a white rabbit out of one of them. But even if you’re not a magician, there’s a certain wonderfulness to hats.

They can change who you are, protect your ears, or you can turn them upside down and use them to store things. This hat outburst was slightly inspired by a friend sending me this blog post and it made me think about hats again.

I have a large collection of knit hats that come out around winter time. I look forward to winter for many reasons but one of which is that I can wear hats and scarves. True, one can wear hats and scarves during any season but I do not have the type of daring that allows one to walk around in straw hats and floaty scarves. Like the article says, wearing hats can be frightening; the worry that others will think you look ridiculous is stronger than the desire to wear something that you like.

The other sad truth is that I have a big head (I don’t mean just ego wise) and most hats really do look ridiculous on me, perched but not entirely fitting. There really should be plus-sized hat shops for people with abnormally shaped heads or big hair-after all why should we be discriminated against? J

Ok-I just looked it up online-there are plus sized hats. There goes my main excuse-there are even plus sized trucker hats which clearly filled a huge void.

But why is the fear of looking ridiculous or just not looking great, something that holds me back? And it’s not just the hats (ok, you’ll say it’s the scarves too), it’s so many other areas that I’m afraid to experiment for fear of looking stupid.

When I went to Israel, I was so afraid of sounding like an idiot that I never really experimented with the language and if anything, my Ivrit suffered more from it. I’ve recently begun taking uplan and I am amazed by how much of an improvement I’ve made in the language just because I have the courage to speak. I’ve done this with drawing as well. When I was in high school and pre-college I used to draw and then somehow with college and constant computer use, my drawing went to the wayside. Now I’m kinda scared to begin again because I don’t feel like I can draw like I used to. I’m frightened that what I’ll create will be less than perfect and although I know this is so stupid, the thought is still dragging me down.

I’m not totally sure where to get the courage to do these things. Maybe it’s just like the ulpan-you’ve got to just force yourself out there for some of these things. Walk out there wearing a hat that you think is charming and pretend not to care if anyone thinks you look silly. Just draw and disregard the consequences.

After all, getting past your irrational fears to do something you really want to do-that would be pretty magical.